Why Me?
by Literati Lover
Summary: *On Hiatus* Dean and Rory broke up. Jess left. Tristan is back. Rory's had more than she can handle.
1. Default Chapter

Ratings: PG..possibly PG-13 later on  
  
Pairings: Trory (Tristan and Rory) in the end.not sure for the beginning~~Possibly JavaJunkie (Lorelai and Luke) later on in the story, depending on my amount of energy!  
  
Summary: There has been a slight change in the story line. This occurs during Rory's senior year. It's a Sunday right now. Dean and Rory broke up due to a fight over Jess. While their fight was going on, Jess was packing his bags to leave back to New York. Rory and Dean break up, and Rory is crying. She runs to Luke's to talk to Jess, and she hears that he has left. Luke is depressed, and Rory begins to cry even harder. She takes off and runs home.  
  
"Rory, honey what's wrong?" asks Lorelai, as Rory bolts through the front door. Lorelai jumps off the couch and runs to Rory's door which, has just been slammed shut. She quietly knocks and enters to see a red blotted face and a wet tear-stained pillow.  
  
"What happened, baby? Shhh.It's OK. I'm here," Lorelai soothed while holding Rory closely.  
  
"D..D..Dean and I.we b.b.broke up," Rory continues through sobs, "over Jess.so I went to find Jess.and.he.was..gone! Mom, Luke said that he left back to New York."  
  
"Oh baby, I'm so sorry, I know how much you cared for Dean and Jess. You poor baby, I'm here, It's ok. You can cry all you want. Let's wallow. I'll go get some icecream and junk food. And, of course, I have to get the elixir of life. Then, I will hurry home with all the essentials, and you can just cry your heart out. OK?" Lorelai asked.  
  
Rory nodded. Lorelai got up and left with a, "Be right back."  
  
Rory just sat there are cried her heart out. 'How could this happen' she thought. 'I break up with my boyfriend for Jess to find out that Jess left..After all this time, I was finally ready to admit my feelings for him. And he's gone'  
  
Rory couldn't believe that this was happening. What would she do? Could she make it? Rory stared into space with a blank expression. She couldn't move. She couldn't even cry now. Her heart felt dead. It was as though she wasn't even there.well, emotionally, that is.  
  
Lorelai returned with all the essentials to life at a Gilmore's house: candy, chips, pop-tarts, icecream, and of course, coffee! I mean what is a Gilmore without coffee?  
  
"I'm back," Lorelai yelled. "I brought the elixir of life with me," Lorelai teased "And that, you cannot refuse. You were raised by me. The Coffee Queen and have been privileged to be graced by my presence."  
  
Rory sat up and snatched the coffee, the aroma getting to her. She felt weak. The coffee really helped settle her down. They sat there in silence for about 5 minutes when Lorelai finally asked, "Do you wanna talk about it?"  
  
"Maybe tomorrow after school, mum! I have homework and I need extra sleep tonight," said Rory.  
  
"OK, honey. Goodnight!" said Lorelai back as she sighed. She could only hope that her baby would be alright.  
  
Rory tried to sleep, but she failed. All she could do was think. 'What if Dean and I had broken up sooner? What if Jess hadn't left? Would we be together right now?'  
  
Finally, after a few hours of debating with herself, Rory let her brain shut down for the night, and fell asleep. 


	2. Tristan's Back

Rory woke up to the sound of her alarm clock. She hadn't had much sleep and was already running late. She groaned as she turned it off and got out of bed. She took a shower and put on her Chilton uniform. She really needed her coffee before school. Without it, life as she knew it would be over, but there was no time. She gave her mother a hug goodbye as she ran out the door with Lorelai yelling after her, "You're telling me tonight!" Rory nodded as she ran to her bus stop.  
  
Rory got to her locker. Of course it would not open AGAIN! She was pulling on it when a familiar arm reached around her, banged the locker in two places, and it popped open.  
  
"Mary, Mary, Mary," Tristan said with that trademark smirk of his, "You can quit dreaming about me, I'm right here." She was shocked that she was actually happy to see him. Although, now was not the time or the day. She had a horrible weekend, few hours of sleep, and no coffee. She didn't know if she could handle the banter very well today. She slowly turned around.  
  
Tristan was shocked that she actually had a little happiness in her eyes as she turned around. Although, it soon faded away. "No, Tristan, those would be called nightmares," she said copying that smirk of his.  
  
"You wound me, Mary," he said with mock hurt "Don't deny it. You know you dream about me and my luscious body."  
  
"Funny, somehow, I never seem to wound that ego of yours," she said. "How was military school?" she asked, changing the subject.  
  
"It wasn't bad considering that it really improved my gorgeous physique," he said.  
  
"Considering it wasn't that great to begin with," Rory quipped back.  
  
"And you would now, how, Mary? Picturing me in your dreams?" Tristan asked wiggling his eyebrows.  
  
"You're impossible, Tristan," Rory said.  
  
"Giving up already, Mary, I thought you had more than that," Tristan replied back.  
  
"Today's just not my day. I've had a terrible weekend. I woke up late, and I missed my coffee," Rory rambled on.  
  
"Why was your weekend terrible? Trouble in paradise?" Tristan asked. He knew Rory and Dean were still together, but he had to know his competition. This time, he was not letting Rory go easily.  
  
He saw Rory's eyes and face grow a little dark and sad. He couldn't help but feel sorry for her, yet happy for himself at the same time. "So bagboy's shown his true colors, huh?" he asked, hoping that he wasn't pushing it.  
  
"Well, I don't know. You could say that. It was my fault in a way. There was sorta another guy named Jess that Dean was jealous of. Well, I don't blame him. Though, I didn't admit my feelings until Dean and I broke up. I finally went to tell Jess, and he had left. He moved back to where he had come from.  
  
"Sorry," Tristan muttered. He meant it, at least a little. He felt sorry for her, but not sorry that she and Dean broke up. He wasn't good enough for Rory.  
  
"It's fine, Tristan, but I really have to get to class. If I'm late, that will just add to my horrible day. So I will see you around. And, don't get into any trouble. I actually missed you when you were gone," Rory said.  
  
"I missed you too, Mary, more than you will ever know," Tristan said just above a whisper as Rory turned the corner. She didn't hear him, but he meant every bit of what he had said.  
  
" 


	3. Author's Note

Just an Author's Note..  
  
This story might take me a long time to write. I have work to do, cheerleading, and other activities. I also have a story that I am writing and a story I am co-writing. I have to manage and website and a few other things. I will try to update whenever I can. Sorry if it takes a long time.  
  
~~*NiCoLe*~~ 


	4. Lockers, Frustration, and a Red BMW

Ratings: PG..possibly PG-13 later on  
  
Pairings: Trory (Tristan and Rory) in the end.not sure for the beginning~~Possibly   
  
JavaJunkie (Lorelai and Luke) later on in the story, depending on my amount of energy!  
  
Summary: There has been a slight change in the story line. This occurs during Rory's senior   
  
year. It's a Sunday right now. Dean and Rory broke up due to a fight over Jess. While their   
  
fight was going on, Jess was packing his bags to leave back to New York. Rory and Dean break  
  
up, and Rory is crying. She runs to Luke's to talk to Jess, and she hears that he has left. Luke is depressed, and Rory begins to cry even harder. She takes off and runs home.  
  
--After School--  
  
"Finally" Rory said to herself as the bell rang ending school. She ran to her locker so that  
  
she could get her books and go home. Of course, her locker was stuck as usual.  
  
"If you need help, Mary, all you have to do is ask," Tristan said smirking at her as she   
  
struggled to get her locker open.  
  
"I'm quite fine on my own, thank you," she said STILL stuggling with the locker. He stood   
  
there amused, just smiling to himself.  
  
"Are you just going to stand there and watch me struggle and make a fool out of myself?" she  
  
asked him frustrated.  
  
"Yep," he replied simply.  
  
"Fine. Tristan, dear Tristan," she said fake-smiling "will you please open my locker for me?"  
  
she asked sighing.  
  
"I would love to Mary, but I have to be going." he said smiling and laughing to himself.  
  
"Ahhh, you're hopeless," she said frustrated.  
  
"I'm just kidding. Don't get all riled up, at least not here and now. Maybe later you can  
  
get riled up, you know, you and me.....in the supply closet....." he trailed off smirking.  
  
"Fine, you know what? I've had a rough day. I don't need my books," she said. She was  
  
wearing down. She hadn't had coffee all day and was having a break down. She threw her hands  
  
in the air and started to walk away.   
  
"Wait!" he said grabbing her arm. She looked in his eyes and couldn't speak. They were so  
  
mesmerizing, so blue. She just stood there staring into his eyes. 'If only she wouldn't   
  
freak out, I would kiss her right now' Tristan thought to himself. He decided to break the  
  
silence.  
  
"Here." he said banging his fist into the locker so it popped open.  
  
"Thanks," Rory said finally gathering all her books. She was so tired and worn down. She   
  
just wanted to go straight to Lukes for some of her favorite coffee. She picked up her bag,   
  
but Tristan instantly grabbed it from her.  
  
"You look tired, I'll carry it for you," he said throwing her bag over his shoulder with  
  
his. Rory was too tired to oppose so she just shrugged her shoulder.  
  
"Thanks," she said. 'Tristan's being sweet right now. I like it when he's like this,' she  
  
thought to herself smiling.  
  
They finally reached outside and Rory noticed the bus had already left. "Why is this   
  
happening? My day is horrible. I had a terrible weekend, woke up late, got no coffee,  
  
couldn't get my locker open, and now I've missed my bus," she said, mainly to herself.  
  
"Come here," Tristan said, grabbing her hand and dragging her along to a really nice  
  
red BMW. He opened the door and put her bag in the back seat.   
  
"Get in," he said, opening the door for her.  
  
"What?" she asked.  
  
"Get in, I'll give you a ride. It's the least I can do since I held you up at your locker."  
  
"Ok, thanks, Tristan," she said giving him a genuine smile that made him melt.  
  
"I knew I'd have you in my car one day," he said smirking as he got in the other door.  
  
She just rolled her eyes. "Just drive, Bible Boy, Drive."  
  
____________________________  
  
Review please!! It really inspires me! :) 


	5. The Confrontation

Ratings: PG..possibly PG-13 later on

Pairings: Trory (Tristan and Rory) in the end. not sure for the beginningPossibly  
JavaJunkie (Lorelai and Luke) later on in the story, depending on my amount of energy!

Summary: There has been a slight change in the story line. This occurs during Rory's senior  
year. It's a Sunday right now. Dean and Rory broke up due to a fight over Jess. While their  
fight was going on, Jess was packing his bags to leave back to New York. Rory and Dean break  
up, and Rory is crying. She runs to Luke's to talk to Jess, and she hears that he has left. Luke

is depressed, and Rory begins to cry even harder. She takes off and runs home.

A/N: So this has been on a super long hiatus, huh? I've been so busy with….well life that I haven't had time to do much of anything anymore. This is kind of a spur of the moment chapter. I can't promise I'll have another chapter up any time soon, but I'll try. I just really started missing Gilmore Girls the way it used to be and so I thought I would write some more. By the way, I know that my previous writing was a little out of character for Rory back then, but that's a couple years old, so hopefully I can do better now!

On the drive home……Tristan's POV

"So…Bible boy, huh? Where'd you come up with that?" I asked, smirking. I was surprised that she cared enough to come up with a nickname for me.

"Because of the whole Mary thing, but I had my mom's help of course." I noticed how her face lit up when she mentioned her mom. They must be really close.

"Oh, so I'm pretty popular in your household. You've been talking about me. Good to know," I said smirking.

"I wouldn't get so happy about it. It was back when you still went to Chilton, and I didn't really say the nicest things about you," she replied, looking at me.

"Oh," I said, feeling my heart drop. I wish I could do something to take back the way I treated her back then. I would do anything. But I know that's not possible, so I did the best I could.

"I'm sorry….you know, for the way I treated you back then and for the way I acted the day of the play," I said, looking over to her in the passenger seat.

"Apology accepted," she said, blushing and smiling out the window.

I'll never forget those words, for what they led up to was the best moment in my entire life. One that consumed my mind constantly, especially while I was gone at military school.

I can't believe that I finally have Rory in my car. She looks so amazing. Although I noticed that as soon as we drove past some hardware store, her face dropped. She looked so down, and I wished that I could make her happy.

I wish that I could be the one that she broke up for Dean for, and not some other guy. But that's not going to happen. As far as I know, she could be back with Dean tomorrow. I mean it's happened before. I know I don't deserve her, but neither does he. He never realized how lucky he was. He had the most amazing girl in the whole world, and he let her slip through his fingers. But no matter what, I have to be there for her. I have to be different this time. I want her to know that I'm not the same guy I was back then.

I wanted to tell her how I felt, but I couldn't. The whole time I was in military school I worked hard to get out, for her. I tried my best, doing what I thought would impress Rory if she were there. I worked hard on my grades so that I could get out of that place and see her again. She is what kept me going and what inspired me to try harder and not give up. Every time I wanted to quit, her determination came to mind. I wanted to change….for her.

She turned my life around in so many ways. She was the first girl to reject me. She was the first girl to actually keep up with my banter. She was the first girl that didn't fall at my feet just because of my looks or my money. She was the first girl that was actually worth chasing. She was the first girl that I loved and she is the reason that I've changed. I have so much to thank her for, and no way to say it.

"So…when do I turn?"

"Oh, right up here. It's the house on the left….the one with…." She stopped talking and I looked to where her field of vision was located.

"Dean in front…" she finished.

I pulled up in front, not sure of what to do. Did she want to get back with Dean? Should I drop her off and drive away? Should I wait for her to finish? Should I interrupt and tell Dean to leave?

I wanted Rory to know I was different. I couldn't try to start a fight and say all of the things that I wanted to. I couldn't…for Rory's sake.

As I stopped the car, she grabber her bag and opened the door to get out, but first she leaned over and said, "Stay right here. Don't leave, ok?"

I just nodded. She actually wanted me there. Rory actually asked ME to stay and I wasn't about to leave after that.

She shut the door behind her and I couldn't hear what was going on outside, so I cracked my window.

"What is HE doing here? I thought he was gone?" Dean said, looking at me like I was the most disgusting thing he had ever seen.

"That's none of your business, Dean. You're the one who broke up with me. I don't owe you an explanation," Rory replied. I could tell that she wanted to cry. Every inch of me wanted to get out and grab her and just hold her to let her cry on my shoulder, but I knew that I couldn't, especially not now.

Dean seemed to have noticed this as well, because his voice softened.

"Look Rory, I made a mistake. I was upset and I thought that you wanted to be with Jess, so I freaked out. I was scared that I would lose you. I was angry. I shouldn't have dumped you. Rory, I love you and you're the only girl for me," he said, pleading with her. By this time, Rory was letting the tears flow.

It was breaking my heart watching her cry like that. I found myself clenching my fists. I was so angry at Dean for making her so upset. The old Tristan would have gotten out of the car and taken a swing at him already, which would be really easy with my newly gained strength from military school. But this wasn't old Tristan, this was new Tristan. And hopefully this new Tristan is what Rory wanted.

"You can't just change your opinion now. When Jess was here, you were angry. Now that he's gone, you think everything's ok, and you've come to get me back. You can't just leave me because you don't trust me with Jess here and then once he leaves, you trust me again. If you loved me, you would really trust me, with or without Jess here. I can't deal with you not trusting me anymore. I mean, look at the way you reacted when I pulled up with Tristan. It's the same thing that happened with Jess all over again. I just can't do it anymore, Dean. I just can't," Rory said.

"But I just didn't want to lose you. Rory, I love you…" Dean said, walking closer to Rory, but she took a step back.

"No, Dean. I just….I….I….can't be with you anymore. It's over," she said, her shoulders shaking from crying so hard.

Dean walked forward again, this time grabbing her shoulder.

"Rory, don't do this," he pleaded.

"NO! Don't touch me, just go!"

"No, I won't leave. Not until you take me back," he said trying to grab her once more.

This is when I finally stepped out of the car. New Tristan or old Tristan, I wasn't going to let Rory be pressured like this.

"I think the lady said to leave," I said to Dean, walking towards him.

"Well I think the lady can speak for herself," he said, glaring at me.

"And she did speak for herself. She said she doesn't want you anymore. So why don't you just go?"

Dean started walking closer to me, but Rory jumped in. "Dean, please just go. I just don't want to see you right now, Please go," she said, looking him in the eyes.

Dean's face finally softened, and he walked away rejected.

"It's not over though, Rory. I love you and I know that you love me. I'm here when you change your mind," he said, walking away.


	6. Not Without a Fight

Ratings: PG..possibly PG-13 later on

Pairings: Trory (Tristan and Rory) in the end. not sure for the beginning. Possibly  
JavaJunkie (Lorelai and Luke) later on in the story, depending on my amount of energy!

Summary: There has been a slight change in the story line. This occurs during Rory's senior  
year. It's a Sunday right now. Dean and Rory broke up due to a fight over Jess. While their  
fight was going on, Jess was packing his bags to leave back to New York. Rory and Dean break  
up, and Rory is crying. She runs to Luke's to talk to Jess, and she hears that he has left. Luke is depressed, and Rory begins to cry even harder. She takes off and runs home.

A/N: I do love this story and want to finish……however, college is the hardest thing I've ever faced in life…..So much work with little to NO time at all! Right now I should be studying for finals… :/ But someone asked if I was finishing this and I felt I should update! But you need to review, because that's the only thing that reminds me to update! And when Christmas break is here, I should be able to write a little more! I hope you like it!

Tristan's POV

I inwardly grimaced as I heard Dean say those words, "It's not over though, Rory. I love you and I know that you love me. I'm here when you change your mind."

_Rory won't be changing her mind if I can help it_, I thought, smirking.

I did not work so hard at military school to change and come back for Rory, hoping that she didn't have a boyfriend, just to have her get back together with her boyfriend right when I got back. I was going to do everything in my power to help her get over Dean…..and whoever this Jess person was. I would not give up Rory without a fight this time.

I watched her as she sobbed as Dean walked away. I wanted to hold her, but I didn't want to push her or make her uncomfortable. I didn't know if she wanted me there or wanted me to leave. So I walked closer to her and just stood close to her as she cried. My heart was breaking. I wanted to break Dean in half for breaking Rory's heart like he had done. How could you have someone so precious and yet treat them this way?

Rory was like an artist's finest painting or a person's finest china. It was the most valuable thing that exists to that person, and it needs to be treated that way. It should be treated with care. Not tossed around like Dean had done with Rory.

Rory began to sob harder, and I couldn't control myself anymore. I moved and put my arms around her as she cried into my shoulder. I hated Dean for making Rory cry like this. And I hated myself for not being able to somehow stop it.

"I'm sorry," Rory said, looking up at me, and wiping my eyes.

"Why are you sorry?" I said, looking into her eyes that shined a bright blue in between the blotches of red.

"For you having to drive me home. For you having to see that. For getting your shirt all wet," she said, looking truly sorry, and looking away.

I grabbed her chin and moved her eyes to look into mine.

"Rory, I wanted to drive you home, that's why I offered. And I only hated seeing that because I hate to see you cry. I hate to see Dean treat you that way. I hate to see you sad. And, as for the shirt, now I'll have someone to hang in my room on my "Mary" shrine…" I smirked, trying to ease the tension.

Rory's lips tugged upward at the corners, wanting to smile, but couldn't do so completely.

"There you go, that's what I like to see."

She blushed and looked down, and became quiet for a minute. She glanced at the front door, and I realized that she must have wanted to go inside.

"Oh, here, let's get you inside," I said, grabbing her bag and leading her inside with my hand on the small of her back.

I entered her house and smiled. It was absolutely cluttered. Magazines were thrown everywhere, and the smell of coffee filled the air. A monkey lamp even sat in the living room. This was nothing like the houses in Hartford. It was small and cluttered and I absolutely loved it. It looked so……well…..used…….so lived in. It looked like a HOME and not just a HOUSE. I could see myself living in a house like this when I was older….well I could do without the Monkey lamp. But other than that, this house was perfect. And so Rory-like. I couldn't help but smile.

Rory sat down the couch, and I sat down her backpack and turned to leave, not wanting to overstay my welcome.

"Get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow, Mary," I said, walking towards the door.

"Tristan……" I heard her whisper quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Would you maybe……" she stopped to look down at her hands in her lap, which she seemed to find very interesting at the moment.

My ears perked up, waiting for her to finish.

"Well, I mean, if you wouldn't mind…….would you maybe want to stay here with me?" she asked, looking up at me hopefully.

My heart filled with happiness. Mary was asking _me_ to stay to comfort her. Would I mind? Ha! If only she knew how I did not mind one bit. I would stay with her forever if she would let me!

"Sure, I'll stay," I said, heading towards the couch.

"Oh, ok, that's fine. I mean I knew you probably had plans and stuff. It's ok that you don't want to stay. I totally understand," she said, rambling.

"Who said I don't want to stay?" I asked, smirking at her.

"Didn't you?" she asked, curiously.

"Nope. I don't recall hearing those words. I'm pretty sure I said that I'll stay," I said, plopping down on the couch next to her.

"Oh, ok. Well I mean you don't have to if you're busy, I mean I understand."

"Trying to get rid of me already, Mary? You changed your mind after 30 seconds?"

"No, I just….I don't want to be a burden to anyone anymore," she said, sobbing.

I pulled her into my arms and let her cry.

"Rory," I said, grabbing her chin and pushing it up, causing her to look into my eyes. "You are not a burden to me, and you never will be. Understand?"

She nodded up at me and attempted a smile.

"Good, as long as that's clear."

We sat there for a few minutes of silence. I held her as she stared blankly at the wall in front of her. I wanted to ask her who Jess was and what had happened since I left. I wanted to talk to her and get to know her and how she had changed. But I wanted to give her time and space. I wanted her to come to me when she was ready. So I sat….and waited.

"I just wish……" she started, and my ears perked up, ready to listen.

And then she stopped.

"Wish what?" I asked, quietly.

"Nevermind," she said quietly, looking down at her hands.

And so I sat……..and waited some more……

"It's just that…" she started again.

"It's just that what?" I asked, very curious this time.

She became quiet again.

"Nevermind," she said again, staring straight ahead.

I really wanted to know what was going on inside that head of hers. But I didn't want to push. I did that before, and where did it get me? Rory saying she hated me, and me ending up in North Carolina.

So instead, I sat…..and waited some more. I would wait until she was ready to talk even if it took hours. Because she was worth it. When she was sad, I wanted to be the one to pick up the pieces.

"I just…."

I expected her to stop again, but this time she continued.

"I just wanted to thank you, Tristan. For being here with me. I really didn't want to be alone. So, thank you," she said, looking up into my eyes.

I melted into her gaze. Her eyes were such a deep blue that it was intoxicating.

"Don't mention it, Mare. I'll always be here for you. Remember that," I said, running my hair through her hair.

She opened her mouth again, and she finally began to talk.

"I just wish that I knew what I was feeling sometimes," she said, looking confused.

I nodded my head as if to say go on, but not wanting to interrupt.

"I mean, ever since Jess showed up, I was his friend. We were great friends. We talked about everything. We had everything in common. Movies, books, food. He understood me, you know?" she said, looking up at me.

I nodded, even though as she talked, I felt jealousy towards this Jess welling up inside me.

"And so I thought that we were like best friends………but then, Dean started getting jealous. And I didn't understand why. He was acting like he did…….well……..when you were around before. And I don't like that Dean. Once you left, that Dean disappeared. But then Jess showed up, and ugly Dean was back. And I just, I just didn't know what he was so worried about. He told me to stay away from Jess. But, no one understood me like he did. Dean said he was trouble, but I knew that he was just misunderstood. And yeah, so he did cause some trouble with the whole fake murder scene thing in front of Dooses……….well…..and stealing Babette's gnome…….." She continued.

Her eyes lit up when she talked about Jess. And this is not what I wanted. But I had to say, hearing the whole fake murder scene was really interesting. As much as I want to dislike him, because I'm jealous, he really doesn't sound half bad……

"I mean, yeah, he did some stuff like that. But overall, he was a great guy. I mean, yeah, Dean was a little mad that Jess outbid him for my basket and won lunch with me. And ok, I mean he did like to instigate Dean. But still, I don't know what Dean was so jealous for. He swore that Jess was in love with me. He said I should stay away from him and he was trouble. When he would say that Jess was in love with me, I always denied it. I really didn't believe him. But the sad thing is, I secretly wanted it to be true. And I didn't know why. I was in love with Dean. Really, I was. I wasn't in love with Jess. But every time he walked by, I would smile. And I could talk with him for hours without stop. And so I secretly wanted Dean to be why. I didn't know why…….I was such a horrible girlfriend……."

Rory stopped and started to cry. I held her and rubbed her back.

"No, Rory. That's not true. Dean didn't deserve you. He didn't treat you like you deserved to be treated. It was only normal to want to be loved by someone else. To feel that someone _wanted_ you or _needed_ you…."

She began to slow down her crying.

"It's ok if you don't want to finish the story," I said, looking down into her eyes.

"No, I do. I need to talk about it," she said, looking away from me.

"Ok," I said, waiting patiently for her to begin again.

"Well then, one day I was tutoring Jess and he wanted to get icecream. And so I let him drive my car, and then the animal came out and he swerved……and……and" she started to sob harder.

"It's ok, Mare. Go as slow as you need. I'm here," I said, rocking her back and forth.

"And so, there was an accident. And I broke my wrist, and my mom was furious. And she and Luke got in this huge fight and Jess was sent back to his mom in New York……and then…..and then I skipped school and I got home late and I missed my mom's graduation, because I went to New York to see him. Because I missed him……."

Rory paused and stared ahead. I wish I knew what she was thinking. She must have really loved this Jess. I mean, skipping school and everything. That's just not like Rory at all. What's worse is that he's gone and her heart is breaking. As much as I want her to myself, I hate to see her in such pain. And I hated that she didn't talk about me the way that she talked about Jess. I know why Dean was protective. Not that he had a right to treat her that way, but I know why he was worried. It has me worried. She is head over heels in love with this Jess guy. Her eyes light up when she says his name. It's the same way I get when I talk about her. And it breaks my heart to know that she already has someone she loves. But I still want to be here for her. So I sit……and wait while she gets the strength to finish.

"And so I saw him, and we spent the day together. And it was so much fun. Then, on the day of Sookie's wedding, he was back. He came back to Stars Hallow. And well, I just assumed it was for me, and so……….I kissed him. I mean, I really kissed me. I cheated on Dean and I kissed another guy. I was a horrible girlfriend. No wonder Dean didn't trust me," she said, attacking herself.

"Rory, that's not true. Dean didn't treat you right, and so you found somehow who did. It's not your fault," I said, trying to comfort her.

"No, it is. I was a horrible girlfriend. And a horrible person to Jess. Because he kissed me, and I ran away. I did what I always do after I kiss someone and it scares me, I run away…….." she said, staring ahead again.

This time it got me. Because I know what she was talking about. I had been there. She kissed me and ran away. So, she was scared by my kiss back then, not confused because she hadn't cried. I didn't know how to take this information. What was she scared of? Me? My reputation? How she felt around me? I wish I knew.

I thought back to the this, and I could feel my heart begin to race. Rory's kiss was the most innocent kiss of my life, but it was the most amazing. The way her soft lips melted against mine was pure heaven. I have relived that kiss over and over again in my mind. I used it to get through military school and make it back to Chilton to find her. That kiss will be etched in my mind for the rest of eternity.

I was snapped back to attention when Rory started talking again.

"So I ran, but I didn't just run for a few days. I ran for a long time. I went to Washington with Paris. We won the class presidency, and so we went. I didn't even say bye to Jess. I just left. I left him confused with no answers. And I went to Washington for the whole summer. I tried writing letters while I was there, but none of them were good enough. None of them said the right thing. So I didn't send them…. And so when I returned from Washington, he had another girl."

She stopped, frowning. She looked as though she wanted to cry. Her heart was broken, and it was easy to tell. Whoever this Jess guy was, he was incredibly lucky. I could tell from the look in Rory's eyes that she loved him way more than she had ever loved Dean. Which means that the chances of me and Rory being together are even closer to none than before, which was absolutely depressing. Before I could pity myself some more, Rory continued.

"He had some trampy blonde named _Shane_ shoved up against some tree with his tongue down her throat. All over they would make out. On the street. In the diner," she said with disgust.

I knew what this Jess guy was doing. He was doing EXACTLY what I had done. He and I were a lot more alike than I thought. I can't believe that Rory was actually in love with a "bad-boy" like him. But the game he was playing was all too familiar. He was playing the jealousy card. He was hurt and upset and desperate and so all he could do was parade around a random "hot" girl to get Rory's attention and to hopefully make her jealous. I attempted this numerous times. However, the difference between me and Jess is that he's the lucky one. Judging by the look of disgust on Rory's face, it definitely worked for him.

"Well so I finally realized that I couldn't take that girls tongue down Jess' throat anymore. I wanted it to be me. I wanted to be the one that he kissed like that, not her," Rory said, starting to tear up again.

This conversation was killing me. I seriously felt like Rory was ripping my heart out and stomping on it. This Jess was the luckiest guy in the world, and I hated him for the mere fact that I couldn't be him. And I couldn't have Rory's love.

"And so, Dean and I got into a fight over Jess. He dumped me, because he said that he could tell I had feelings for him. So that's when I finally realized that Dean was right. I went to go tell Jess this over the weekend. And when I went to tell him, he was gone. Gone back to New York. Not even a good-bye. He just left," Rory began to sob uncontrollably.

"Shhh, it's ok, Mare. I'm here," I said, rubbing my hand down her back.

"You're just going to leave me too," she said, crying harder.

"I won't leave you, Mary. I did it once, and I promise, I won't do it again," I said, tightening my grip on her.

And I meant it. I wouldn't leave her. I didn't plan on it. I'm going to stay with her for as long as it takes for her to get over Jess and Dean.

Although Dean didn't seem to be a threat anymore, not after this Jess guy.

Jess was the real threat.

Great, just what I need. A threat that I haven't even met, and that isn't even around anymore.

But I wouldn't give up. I worked so hard to get out of military school so I could come back and find her. And I won't give up. I will not let Rory go without a fight.


End file.
